Wondering how you can show someone in your life that you care? here are some suggestions that can help you do just that.
1. do it, don’t say it.
Reading: How to review you care
You know that old common wisdom, “actions speak louder than words”? good is true. While you can apologize for not doing something until you’re sad, you’ll get a lot more appreciation from someone else in your life just by doing it in the first place. yes, it means you have to work extra hard to keep up with everything, even with simple things like taking out the trash or running that errand you said you would. But the payoff is that your loved one will know you care because you did it without being asked or reminded.
2. refuse to argue and choose your battles.
Arguments are a constant source of conflict in relationships, even between family members or friends. you may say, “how can I stop arguing?” easy, because engaging in a conversation with another person is a choice we make (whether we always do it consciously or not). make a conscious effort to notice when you’re getting into an argument, and then just stop. remember, not every discussion is worth participating in, so don’t feel like you have to jump into a discussion just because someone else asks you to. “I’m sorry, I can’t talk about this now, let’s talk more about this later…” or “You’re right, I’m wrong, I’m sorry” will suddenly end the discussion. which brings us to…
3. apologize often, even if you’re not wrong.
why should you apologize even if you’re not “wrong”? Well, it depends on your point of view. Is being “right” more important to you than your loved one’s feelings? is being “right” something you’ll be proud of when you’re on your deathbed: “well, hell, I may have caused her a world of pain, but at least she knew who was right!” apologies are simple, free, and completely within your world of control. Handing them out just as freely and easily will, in the long run, make you feel better and your loved ones feel better, too. it shows that you care more about them rather than winning any particular argument (too often, silly). (As with all things, when taken to the extreme, this isn’t particularly healthy behavior either, but know when to pick your battles.)
4. do something unexpected.
Most people love surprises, especially when that surprise is something that helps them or makes their lives a little easier, even if only for a minute. It could be as simple as a card to show appreciation “just because” or offering to babysit one night when it wasn’t your turn. it could be saying, “hey, I’ll make dinner tonight” or “hey, I’ll take out the trash,” and then just doing it. even simple actions can say a lot, especially if the other person has had a particularly difficult day. Imagine if it was your night to cook but you’ve had a particularly difficult and stressful day. your partner knows this and offers to cook for you. it’s a great expression of endearment, even when it may seem too obvious or simple.
5. sharing is caring.
sound trite? you can bet it does, but guess what, it’s also true. it’s so much easier to eat that last cookie or drink a glass of water just for you. But it shows you care when you offer someone else the last cookie or ask the other person if there’s anything you can get while you’re awake. simple acts of kindness are the ones we so easily overlook in everyday life. however, they speak volumes to others in our lives.
6. wake up each morning with an appreciation for the other person.
Being grateful for the people and things in our lives is one of the easiest ways to achieve a sense of daily happiness. you don’t have to engage in grand displays of love or affection. Simple actions, like saying “I love you” or making someone’s favorite lunch, may be all it takes. Often, living with someone day in and day out can breed a certain familiarity (or, as the old saying goes, “contempt”). keep that in mind, acting consistently with someone who loves another, not someone who silently keeps score. even if your partner never knows it, it’s a way of showing care that can be just as important as any direct, outward demonstration.
Showing that you care about the people in your life on a regular basis is more challenging than it sounds. the people who are nearest and dearest to us are often those to whom we spend the least amount of effort in displays of care and affection. however, most people appreciate and need occasional displays of affection.
It’s not difficult, but it requires conscious effort on our part, and we may need to remember to do it at least once a week, if not every day.